Sultan Rahi.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Ever watched a Sultan Rahi movie? You can't tell the difference between action or comedy.
Once, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood moviesthat had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.In the movies of Sultan Rahi, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Sultan Rahi!
2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.Guess, what he does?He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & theknife kills the middle one.*Hahhhh*
3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow histheory of physics.
4) The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!The 'climax' finally arrives.Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
5) And in another scenario, our beloved hero Sultan Rahi goes to fight this gang of gangsters. They are sitting inside a concrete structure. One of their toady minions comes outside to impending doom. Sultan Rahi, in a burst of heroism, and strength which could only be matched by a power ranger who had just had Red Bull, Sultan Rahi punches the minion. The minion goes airborne, flying and crashing in a nearby truck. The truck, not able to bear the speed, and the destruction, tilts, and falls on the concrete structure, killing all inside.
Normal sequences involve Sultan Rahi serving as a bullet proof vest and a blood bank at the same time. He also regularly performs medical miracles by rising from the grave everytime his mother calls him. Sultan Rahi also indulges in beastiality sex. His favourite animal being a horse. Sultan Rahi wears state-of-the-art Nike Air shoes, so they help him when he's jumping down from skyscrapers.
Courtesy: My new Orkut fraandship
Once, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood moviesthat had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.In the movies of Sultan Rahi, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Sultan Rahi!
2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.Guess, what he does?He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & theknife kills the middle one.*Hahhhh*
3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow histheory of physics.
4) The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!The 'climax' finally arrives.Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
5) And in another scenario, our beloved hero Sultan Rahi goes to fight this gang of gangsters. They are sitting inside a concrete structure. One of their toady minions comes outside to impending doom. Sultan Rahi, in a burst of heroism, and strength which could only be matched by a power ranger who had just had Red Bull, Sultan Rahi punches the minion. The minion goes airborne, flying and crashing in a nearby truck. The truck, not able to bear the speed, and the destruction, tilts, and falls on the concrete structure, killing all inside.
Normal sequences involve Sultan Rahi serving as a bullet proof vest and a blood bank at the same time. He also regularly performs medical miracles by rising from the grave everytime his mother calls him. Sultan Rahi also indulges in beastiality sex. His favourite animal being a horse. Sultan Rahi wears state-of-the-art Nike Air shoes, so they help him when he's jumping down from skyscrapers.
Courtesy: My new Orkut fraandship
posted by sheandher338 @ 2:13 AM
