trippin'Wednesday, October 26, 2005

it's scary when random orkutting leads you down a memory lane long forgotten of times with random meeting and stolen moments with accquaintances soon to become strangers for now and ever. always prided myself on being able to keep friendship maintained in spite of awkward moments that have long passed and realizing the blockings out that have been done and repeating past mistakes then breaking off old friendships just because there was Moment and one thing led to another. surprising how people chang if they think you need them.. human ego is a weird weird thing. human brain. blocking out the past a reconstructing it in a more favorable way. if that could be done with life. and again, the trips down the memory lane thoughts of on person reminding you of someone else totally unrelated but same circumstances. hiding in the balcony or the closet and closed doors and secret glances. strumming songs on the guitar made for someone exclusively. words. lies. same song for different people. same words, different girls. and it's so scary when you grow so used to the constant noise that seemingly disturbing things don't bother you anymore. the stories of borrowed 8310s and promised gifts. people making up entire chapters of lives, taking up so many pages yet only the events that are significant.. the people long forgotten, names not remembered. something to the effect of a drunken one night stand with a stranger from the bar. ever wake up after a drunken night at the bar and the person lying across you on your arm is so ugly that you'd rather chew your arm off than risk waking that person up? that's coyote ugly. another mark on the bedpost. there's something about doing the wrong thing that seems so right. something to do about forbidden pleasure, wicked temptations. and then the trips down the memory lane of people long forgotten, never thought about. names remembered if think really hard but only the first ones.. surnames eroded from memory forever. the worst thing about the human mind is whats gone, is gone forever- never to return. and no matter how hard i try i cant remember the song or the tune or the lyrics.. just the strumming and the strings and the fingers. callous fingers. cuts upon arms. one mistake after the another. everyone grows up. its all about the growing up. and they thought there was something more out there for them.. wanting to explore.. leaving a perfect thing at the risk of there being something better out there. but there wasn't. and still happy, and still looking. and it's the journey that's most exciting cuz when you get where you want to be.. what then? mundanity. and the trips down the memory lane continue.. of those crazy hidings and underground concerts and the guys high on dope throwing themselves against walls in attempts of hurting themselves and the headbanging and the tact of managing two people without hurting the other.. of getaways with two people who were one soon to become two only to reunite again.. of happiness and sorrow- amplified.

crazy isn't being broken.. it's just me and you.. amplified. -girl, interrupted